So Close Yet So Far Away

I have to admit that I am writing this post with many mixed emotions. Many of you know that I was so excited to be named "Wellford's Distinguished Reading Teacher" this year. I work really hard in my classroom, especially the way I teach reading. I work many long afternoons and some weekends trying to decide what each child in my classroom needs for the up coming week. I try to use what the children do in class each day as the springboard for what I introduce to them next. I try to remediate the students that need it without the fear of rejection or being made fun of by others while at the same time challenging those that are ready for more advanced books and comprehension skills. This is one of the hardest things about being a teacher, but one of the things that I love about this career. But before I start chasing rabbits, like I normally do, I think that so much of the way I feel about school is due to the way I preformed in school. I was not the Principal's Honor Roll kid for many many years. I went all through elementary school making mostly B's and C's with an expensive tutor for two hours a week and sometimes more! I was not the "natural" smart kid. There are some in the family, but I was not one. I was one that had to work really hard for the B's and C's I got. Mom, Dad, Kerrie, and I would do the craziest things when I spelled a word correctly, or actually read a page in a book all by myself. We used to dance to our favorite songs, or belt out a New Kid's on the Block jam! I can remember mom making tapes of the multiplication facts I had to memorize in third grade, and for half a year Kerrie and I went to bed hearing 4x2=8, 4x3=12, 4x4=16. I think you get the drill. The point of all of this is that I was so honored when it was announced that my fellow teachers thought I was the best reading teacher at Wellford School. I felt like I had really come a long way from that shy, quiet, (believe it or not) kid that sat in the back and couldn't read to the person and teacher that I am now. It was a great day, and totally unexpected! I immediately got on the phone to call Mom, Dad, Mema & Papa, and I even dialed Nanny and Pop in the excitement of it all! Then, I called William to let him in on the news, and just as I had planned a dinner date was in order! I love that guy:) The next few days brought cards, flowers, and notes from many of my friends and fellow teachers encouraging and congratulating me. Then, the work load of winning an award hit. I had a 500 word essay due, an interview, a lesson to video, and a few ofter things to complete before the district interview in just a few weeks. Then the winner for District 5 would go on the the county on October 7th! I worked on the essay and to be honest I could a have written a book easier than condensing that essay into 500 words. I thought how ironic it was the whole time I wrote the paper. I began to think of questions that the judges would ask, and how I could concisely yet completely answer them. I went into the interview on Tuesday at 2:30. I was the first one which in any competition is usually not good, but once again it was the luck of the draw! I wasn't worried about the people skills because lets face it that's a relative strength of mine. I went in and the ladies were from other districts and agencies and were fairly pleasant. I left the interview feeling ok about it. I knew it wasn't spectacular, but not a vague waste of time either. I knew that I was up against other teachers that were held in high esteem by their fellow teachers at their respective schools. I knew it was a challenge, and like in anything else in life all I could do was my best. I did just that my best, and the following day the District winner was announced............It was not me! Oh well, I'd like to think that I have a lot of time to have a chance to get another award in the field. I also realize that their are lots of great teachers out there that are never recognized by there own schools after putting their whole life into this career. I will always remember this honor and be thankful to the family and friends that helped me so much along the way! Always, ~Ashley~ Here's a link to the essay if you're intrested in reading it.